Part 10 The first year of marriage

Louis and Alienor's marriage seems to have started off with promise - if a few caveats and pointers to later bones of contention - but on the whole to have been workable. But as conventional history tells us, that changed over the years until there was much bitterness and hostility between them. The Akashics is an unparelleled aid in getting at the mindsets and feelings of the personalities involved. 

Here are Eleanor and Louis in the early days of their marriage.

Now to 1138 and Alienor and her relationship with Louis a year into their marriage.

 I am getting Alienor very still, looking down.  There’s a feeling of a spiritual journey.  I feel that she’s meditating.  I feel that Louis is close by.   It feels as if they are joined as well.  For Alienor it feels as if they are sharing a spiritual moment.

Is it a spiritual moment for Louis?  I’m going to the bit after it (they’ve been making love). Louis  just loses himself in her.  It’s like liquid gold.  He loses the sense of himself as an individual being. It’s like his boundaries are all gone.  His body feels as if he’s not there; it’s just everything.  And afterwards he just feels so peaceful and still.  He’s kind of lost in space.  It’s a meditative state. 

How does this make him feel about her in non sexual circumstances?  It makes him a little bit confused because it makes him feel as if he is the same person as her, and when they pass, he feels as if it’s right because he’s becoming who he is with her, and when she goes past it’s strange and he gets a bit confused.  It’s as if he’s more himself when he’s with her, than he is when he’s not with her.  I’ll try and find a time in normal circumstances when they’ve not been close together.  There’s a level where they can intellectually beat each other.  It’s a bit like playing a board game where they can chatter and disagree with each other and be competitors, but only in that little context, so I suppose that would be like talking policy or planning things. Most of the time she just sucks in his senses.  If you imagine you’re taking a plateful of the most delicious meat to the table and your dog’s in the room.  You know how he follows his nose and his whole body follows afterwards, well that’s how Louis is with Alienor.  He feels her go past and – Alison inhales deeply -  He might not show it on the outside but it’s as if his aura is being sucked into her.

That is really fascinating that it has developed like this in the year since their marriage.  When they first married, it was just like 'driving a new car' as far as he was concerned.  So I think we need to go back and find out how this happened.  But  before we go, let’s find out how she feels about him in their ordinary life a year later.  She has an emotional attachment to him from the heart.  It is sometimes disappointed because it feels frustrated and unfulfilled as if something is not there. It’s like someone not being able to meet you intellectually in a conversation.  For her the emotions are not being met on the same level.  There's the sense that she sometimes thinks he’s a bit of a fool.  He doesn’t see the obvious and he’s stubborn in his stupidity sometimes.  He will stick to something for no real, obvious reason and he can’t really argue his case and it seems the most stupid thing for him to stick to and he won’t be moved, but then she can’t really do anything about it. But she’s happy enough with her sphere and to be honest she has quite a lot of influence in his sphere as well. She feels superior to him.  She feels as if he is servicing her needs in all ways – in her life and in her bed. It’s not the full thing, but it’s an aspect of what she’s sensing. So now she is driving the car.  Yes. She’s now in control.  Yes, powerful lady.  It’s not instinctual.  She is totally consciously making her own directions.

So go to snapshots of their marriage between the wedding and now a year later and find out how she got the control. Go to next time they came together after he had to leave her shortly after the marriage and go to Alienor’s POV. She’s very pleased to see him.  She kneels at his feet and kisses his hand.  I can see them dancing together and it makes them both enlivened and relaxed.  They’re breathing faster.  They are chatting in a very relaxed manner about their time apart and what they’ve been doing.   They’re still in the public arena where they’ve been chatting to each other rather than to anyone else.  The feeling in Alienor is of excitement.  She has got something powerful and interesting here, a new toy, and a new maturity.  There’s a feeling that she has entered the adult world and wants to be a proper part of it.  It’s like she’s been given permission and accepted into the adult world, and that has made her more open to her own feelings.    She is finding out about herself.  She feels very secure in her relationship.  It’s very solid, so she can be as free as open as she likes.  She can do just what she wants within that relationship and no one can say ‘You can’t do that’ or ‘that’s wrong, it shouldn’t have happened.’  Because it’s there for everyone to see and it has been accepted.

 So another snapshot.  What has changed that a year later Alienor is in charge?  When Louis comes home, he is not relaxed.  He’s feeling anxious and tight, like a band across his solar plexus area.  There’s distaste for a great deal that’s going on in the court. He finds that there are only a few people to trust. Issues of trust are very close to the forefront to his thinking, and distrust for the ways of the court.  When I say this, the double dealing, the lack of true integrity, so people are doing this for the wrong reasons and not in line with God.  Things are really heavy to move, to get things done, and to get changes made.  Everybody’s got their own vested interest.  Alienor pushes herself forward into his awareness and her whole being becomes more solid and detailed because of that.  She stands out from the others and she can make him feel like a human being.  So when they’re dancing and relaxing, he can react like a human being instead of like a king.  This is very different for him.  I think coming back to Paris as the King is a real awakening for him.  It’s a very different experience to what he had before or whatever he imagined.  So that in itself has knocked him off the pedestal he used to be on where everything was set along definite tramlines.  That surety has gone.  The tramlines have gone.  Very different.  It’s like he has now to make the tramlines for other people.  He wasn’t expecting that.  With her she doesn’t expect tramlines.

Another snapshot.  Alienor is sitting on a dais at the end of the room.  He’s walking round the room.  He’s working the room as they say, and every so often he’s looking at her and she is giving him a smile and a nod.  She is giving him confidence. Because of what’s been happening between them at a personal level, there’s a connection there and it helps him and she feels it’s perfectly how it should be and her mind is already in intellectual mode, planning.  I’m just trying to see what she’s planning, but it’s everything.  It involves people, projects, buildings, how things should look, everything. 

She’s world building then?  Yes, exactly, and he’s part of the plan.

So how is Louis feeling?  He is feeling so warm and full in the solar plexus.  It goes up to his heart and makes him feel warm and loved, as if his whole world is perfectly full.  What he is doing in the room is just the peripheries.  The real world is his heart.  It’s like a warm sun. This is the nitty gritty.  No one has ever understood him, supported him, known him and accepted him as he is ever before, without recriminations or criticism, just as he is.  And given him love.  He has never had an experience like this before.  All his previous relationships, where there should have been love, there has been an element of cruelty there as well, or indifference at the very least.  He’s never known acceptance love.  It’s been correction love that he’s had before.

Alison said something very pertinent to me during these sessions - something that I knew, but it was good to hear her mention it.  People alter.  They don't stay the same, even if certain traits are ingrained. Life experience and the physical metamorphosis from child to youth,  to adult, to old person, all have their part in changing the sculpture from moment to moment.  So when I write my work, I have to factor in those changes.  That's why, for example, Roger Bigod in The Time of Singing, is slightly different to the Roger Bigod in To Defy A King.  One is a young man, flexible and optimistic.  The other is a seasoned politician with the weight and responsibility of an earldom on his shoulders.

 

Alison said - having observed Louis and Alienor:

 

It’s amazing how relationships go through different dynamics.  I’ve seen this time and again in my job.  You think ‘Oh, that’s a marriage made in heaven’ and about 20 years later, it’s all turned to horror.  Or it can go the other way.  Sometimes a significant event comes along and sets in. It’s as if you’ve put a coloured lens in front of everything, and everything then is a different colour.  You can never see that person the same again. 

Alienor, birth and childhood.

Our research began with Alienor's grandparents, William IX Duke of Aquitaine and his mistress Dangereuse de Chatelleraut.  However, since this blog is for public consumption and not intended to be X rated, I have decided to come in at Alienor's birth.  Suffice to say that William IX's full blooded poetry was very much reflected in the relationship he enjoyed with the Lady Dangereuse!  I don't cover Alienor's very early years in the novel, but it's always good to know the background.  Here is Alienor as a newborn baby:  Other than headings, the comments in bold are mine.  Those in italic are Alison's personal observations.   Also to note that I'm not putting every single bit of the research in, but there will be a wide range of excerpts.  Sessions are conducted about once a fortnight, and once I've worked through several months of background material, I'll add snippets as they arise.  There is some material that challenges assumptions, but interestingly those assumptions are mostly modern conclusions based on modern notions and mythology about Alienor - and not primary source.

1124

The birth of Alienor.

Aenor seems to have got through it okay.  It doesn’t seem to have been a traumatic birth.  She hasn’t been wiped off the extremes of feelings.  She’s quite satisfied.  She’s looking at the little baby and seeing that all the limbs are there.  She’s quite a catch this little baby.  She looks like a miniature person rather than a baby.  She looks more like those pictures of Jesus as a tiny man, you know the kind of pictures.  Very long fingers and long thin arms.  A delicate little face.  She responds very quickly to any noise, especially mellifluous noise.  She’s like a magical instrument herself.  You only have to touch the feet and the whole being is in movement and waving about.  She’s a very responsive baby – like a toy you can play with.  Knows its own mind when it’s fed it knows how much and when it’s finished – it has table manners! Born refined.   Yes!  Aenor is quite enchanted with the baby and quite proud of herself, but passes it off nonchalantly.  She is glad that the child is in her domain.  It doesn’t need to be shared by the outside world.  Not that you would guess that from her body language.  It’s more of a deep knowing.  And especially that she can lock the door at night and lock them inside and at last she has a companion, someone who understands her and is like her and can be with her.  And she thinks this will make her life become bearable.

What does William X think of his daughter.

Well it’s a girl.  He says I suppose we have still got time to remedy that, but what if we have more girls.  She will have to raise her game.  He’s wondering how soon he can get Aenor back into action.  Like one down, nine to go.  This was just a blip, but never mind, we can get on with it.  So he’s not in this marriage to get girls.  I think as well as the passing on to an heir, it’s also sharing his learning, knowledge and education – that’s what he was hoping to do as well. 

 So go to her when she’s a bit older with her dad.  She is very quiet with him when she is little.  She is a bit afraid.  She has been taught to be distant, quiet and well behaved, a bit like her mother when she was curtseying and putting her head to one side.  I think she’s been taught to do that from her mother.

 His viewpoint?   He’s looking at a basket which is bow shaped with a handle that goes across the middle.  It’s got flowers in. He’s saying ‘No, you shouldn’t do that.’  She’s climbing up some carving to put flowers high up on top of columns.  He’s saying ‘Come down here.’  She has to climb onto his shoulders to get down.  He puts her down quite forcefully on her feet.  She doesn’t look very little even here. (probably tall)  He says ‘You must never do that again, never!  What came into you?’

Alienor is quite calm.  She thinks ‘Nothing came into me.’ She wasn’t afraid when she did it.  She doesn’t understand why he’s all upset, so she just stands quiet and passive.  

An earlier incident than that?  William is just seeing her walking across the courtyard.  She is very beautifully dressed. A miniature little person.  His heart warms and he thinks she’s very sweet.  He calls her to him and she doesn’t respond at first because it’s unexpected.  It reminds me of being in school when you’re very small and everyone seems very big and the head mistress or head master is a massive, massive person that nobody talks to.  That’s the feeling I get about her and her dad.  She knows he is there and she knows he is influential but she daren’t talk to him.

So what happens when he calls her over?  He says ‘What is that that you’ve got on?’  She thinks ‘Oh crikey, and she brushes the front of her dress and says ‘My blue dress, sire.’ And he says ‘It is mighty fine work.’  And it is.  It’s got all like teardrop shapes outlined in gold across the front.  He says ‘Do you like to wear nice things?’  She says ‘Yes, sire.’  He says ‘Then I will have a garment sent to you when I return.’  He says ‘Fare you well for now.’  He picks her up and he kisses her temple.  When he picks her up she feels so light.  When she was on the ground she looked heavy because she had got all those heavy clothes on. He feels a bit of magic when he picks her up.  It’s a similar sort of feeling to the way her mother felt.  It’s sort of a mystery beyond his normal expectations or experience.  It’s like something dropped in there from somewhere else.  It’s quite an odd feeling.  He puts her down and feels quite wistful, but tells her to run off and be with her mother.  There was quite a group of them walking across the courtyard.

 

To an ordinary day in the relationship Between Alienor and Petronella her sister

Alienor wakes up in a sunny space.  It’s a really big room.  She can swing her arms and walk about.  It’s beautifully sunny.  Petronella is reluctant to get out of bed but she’s very playful, and she’s got these very playful big brown eyes.  She is hiding, playing rabbits under the bed-clothes.  Alienor is putting her hands under the bed covers and tickling her and then wrapping her up in the covers and hugging her.  Then she gets in beside her.  They lie face to face talking.  It’s everyday things.  What they’re going to do, things that they like.  It’s just chit-chat.  Now a woman’s come in.  I take it to be be the maid.  She says, ‘Are you in there together again?’ She says ‘Come on, let’s have you out, let’s have you dressed.’  She sets about dressing them and doing their hair.  Hair seems to be a really important thing.  There’s more time consumed working on the hair than anything else.  And Alienor’s hair colour?’  It is that same goldeny colour I saw before and it has a slight wave to it.  Her sister’s hair is dark.  And her eye colour?  I can’t see at the moment I am only getting the back of her head.  Well just keep an eye out for it as we go on (Pun intended).   They are going downstairs.  Everything is so fresh and open and light; it’s lovely.  There’s a long table and it has lots of food, piles of fruit in bowls. It’s like when there are lots of French windows open to the sky – that sort of effect.  It’s really lovely.  They take some fruit and go outside to eat. They are very together.  It feels natural and normal for them to be a pair. Alienor wants to go riding.  Petronella wants to go along with her. It’s the feeling of freedom as much as the riding that Alienor wants, but it’s not that easy to get.  She’s got to find someone who’s willing to take her.  The woman who looks after them doesn’t want to take them.  There’s no one in the household she can really ask.  She’s tried to ask the stable assistants and it seems that they have been told not to, so it seems she has been pretty frustrated.  Does it occur to her to ask her uncle Ralph?  Well yes it would, but she knows he wouldn’t go.  It could well be that he is the one who’s instructed them not to take her.  

That surprises me because I would have thought learning to ride would be part of the curriculum so to speak.  I think it was, but not when she wanted to go. 

Now there are rows of things.  At first I thought it was writing, but it’s weaving of some sort.  She’s getting solace from the colours which she likes.  Petronella's sitting next to her.  She’s not actually doing the weaving, but she’s winding little balls.  Petronella is leaning on Alienor and Alienor is saying ‘Get off, because I can’t use my hand if you do that.’  Petronella is a bit like a kitten.  Sometimes I can see her sucking her thumb.  She just wants some comfort from Alienor.  This is done outside on a veranda as well, half in and half out.  Some other ladies come to join them.  They’re admiring the work.  They have drinks with them and the talk turns to grown up talk.  That’s when the girls get wary. Petronella in particular tenses up and switches off and Alienor separates herself from it.  Is it risqué grown up talk then? It’s adult talk in the sense that it’s all about grownups and in the sense of who fancies who as well – the goings on in the household.  It’s gossip. And this makes the girls wary?  Yes, it makes them tense.  A lot of it is because they don’t want that sort of attention attracted to them and Alienor has already had that sort of thing – men being attracted to her.  She finds it really creepy; she doesn’t like it.  She finds she has to defend herself against it all the time and that’s why they like to keep themselves to themselves if they can.  The weaving goes on all day more or less.  The food is brought in to them. Petronella is getting quite drowsy in the afternoon.  Alienor has stopped weaving.  There is a beautiful flower scent all around.  Alienor seems to be just wandering around and Petronella has gone to sleep. Like a siesta then.  Yes. Alienor has found some young people in the garden to talk to.  It seems to be a mixed group and she’s laughing and joking.  Then she leaves them.  She’s not giving herself away as in not giving her emotions to other people.  It was an interaction that was quite pleasant but she’s still herself. She walks off and she feels really quite constrained.  It’s got edges and although those edges might be fluffy and beautiful like clouds or like trees in full leaf, she can’t go beyond that and that makes her feel constrained.  She’s not happy there.  I was going to say she particularly doesn’t like the people who have power over her, but it’s not as straightforward as that.  It’s not that she doesn’t like them.  She accepts that they have this power, but it makes her feel sad. She’s kind of indifferent to them.  It all feels kind of dreamlike as if it’s real but not real.  She’s going back to her sister now and she’s waking her up in a really playful way.  She’s taking the thumb out of her mouth while Petronella is still asleep.  She’s getting Petronella to get up and to come out into the garden with her.  They go out to a different part of the garden and have a bit of runabout.  Then they go to another quiet part of the garden and have a sit down on stone seat with an arch over it set into a wall, but the wall is just part of a garden and is one level up.  It’s tiered and the wall with the seating is very high.  They just sit there, kicking their toes and being children really. 

            It’s starting to get towards evening now.  Alienor’s starting to feel tired and they are in that room where they woke up now and are being brought warm milk and bread.  I can see some people hugging.  A man and a woman.  These are not nobly dressed.  They are more household people.  The servant who looks after them has brought her man friend up, thinking that the girls will sleep.  She’s always told them to keep very quiet about it and it’s their secret.  But this is a more normal relationship.  It’s not full on.  It’s more of a sociable, convivial relationship.  Then they go to sleep.  End of day.

So Alienor is close to her sister.  Yes, she seems responsible and almost maternal for her.

Alienor’s happiest time as a child before her marriage.

It’s not full on happiness.  It’s a glow in the solar plexus that is warm and bright but below that there is some anxiety.  There is definitely a smile on her face.  She is looking down at her hands clasped close to her body.  She is looking down at something small and fluffy in her hands.  I think it might be a nest of tiny fluffy chicks.  They are so beautiful and vulnerable and she is really moved by it.  She thinks how easily they can be crushed.  She is seeing it as an analogy for herself and her sister with no parents.  Hmmm, well that’s not really a happy time is it?   No. So perhaps she wasn’t happy as as child?  No, and this feeling of being incarcerated, that really came full on later in her life didn’t it? 

Her education?  Her sister is quite a distraction from this, because when Alienor is studying, it means Petronella loses her attention.  I am seeing again the weaving but that’s not really what I want to see, so I’ll retune.  This is quite a good feeling.  Calm, deep, meditative.  She is listening carefully to a story, following it through.  It’s being told but there is music as well, some musical instruments being played.  It’s as if Alienor is imbibing the whole thing and it’s very satisfying.  The story is rounded and whole and complete – perfect. Which fills a whole gap in her life.  She loves things like this and they make her want to write her own and she does spend some time writing out her own versions of these.  She even makes tunes to go with them.  She does play them sometimes, but generally they’re private.  This is the same sort of age as I saw before – young adolescent.

Right, that's all for now.  More later.  I'm not sure how often I'll post - at least once a week though.